I grew up very high-strung… ask anyone in my family. Any little joke, or tease, or slightly embarrassing thing that would happen to me would make me well up with tears. Why was I so sensitive? Could it be that I was born a perfectionist and every mistake I could ever make was life-ending? Could it be that I was bullied a good portion of my younger years for the way I looked (overweight, glasses, gapped teeth and heavy bangs)? Is it a possibility that female hormones rule portions of my emotions? All of this is possibly the culprit to my easily shattered emotions in my younger years.
Fast-forward to 2009. I’ve made it through high school and am headed off to my dream school. I’ve grown out my bangs to long layered hair, ditched the glasses for contacts, lost some lbs, and have been out of braces for over a year. It was in this time that I grew as a woman. I grew comfortable in my skin, my emotions, and became my true self. What is that? I’m smart, I have a huge heart, I cry in movies, my face is pretty cute and 99% of the time blemish free, and I am probably the goofiest/clumsiest person on the campus. I had learned to understand myself, good and bad. Understanding who I am as a young woman then and today is what has made me totally ok with embarrassing myself at least weekly.
One time in college I was wearing crocs (embarrassing moment 1). I was walking across the parking lot with some of my friends and when the rubber (from the crocs) hit the road so did my face. Right there… in the middle of the day… I ate it. My friends turned around to hear me laughing with my face on the ground. Of course it hurt, and my pride hurt, but I got up, put on a princess Band-Aid and we laughed about it until the scars went away.
I’ve actually fallen on my face more times than not. I was not allowed to formally wear heels until the age of 24 because I was so bad walking in them.
The first night I met my husband I invited him to go out with me and some of my friends to celebrate a 21st birthday. The place we went just happened to have karaoke that night, and I just happened to think I had the presence of Beyonce and the voice of Carrie Underwood. I got on stage and belted out my worst version of Jingle Bell Rock. After I saw the video I was convinced Xavian (my husband) would never talk to me again. Well obviously he did, and he still shows the video to people, and I still get red faced but laugh.
We all have our highs and lows in life, our strengths and weaknesses, some may be out of our control and some we have full power to change. It is such an important idea to accept some of our “faults,” because then we can understand they are not faults. These are beautiful personality traits, physical traits and attributes that you can embrace. I could share hundreds of stories about my own embarrassing moments. When I was 12 those would have killed me inside, made me climb under my covers and cry. Now I understand when embarrassing things happen to me, it is not the end of the world, just the start to a really funny story.