Single on Valentine’s Day you say?
According to my mom, I have always been fiercely independent. Moving around a lot and going to boarding school in Japan, most likely, made me that way. I never wanted to fit into a mold. It’s funny, last week my mom sent me these two strikingly different photos of myself; one is me all dolled up in a dance costume and caked on makeup. In the other one I’m mowing our backyard in my dad’s work boots, a stained white t-shirt and white wash capris jeans. Two very different styles and one very independent little girl.
My dad works in the oil industry so I moved around a lot when I was young. I think that’s why it’s always been hard for me to make friends or commit to things. Before high school I lived in 3 different countries and 3 different states. Not to mention when I was 14 my very first ‘boyfriend’ broke up with me through a MYSPACE MESSAGE. Talk about a stab to my self-esteem.
Anyway, this week I was tasked to write about being single, ya know, since Valentine’s Day is next week.
I know that I am not ready for a big commitment like that. If you know me, you’ll know I am possibly one of the most indecisive humans. So why would I risk getting my heart broken or breaking someone else’s heart when it takes me an hour to decide on a Netflix movie to watch? Even then I end up just re-watching The Office or Parks and Rec again. Let’s be real for a second, committing to a 23-minute show is hard enough, how am I supposed to commit to a lifetime with someone??? I’m just not ready and I think this gif really speaks to my current state.
And you know what?
That’s okay because I am 22 years young and not in any hurry to settle down. Sometimes girls my age have this desire to get married and start having kids before they’ve even graduated college. And that’s fine! But don’t forget we’re all different, not everyone is made to settle down right away. Some of us are ‘finding ourselves.’ I have always been a big believer in the ‘how can you love someone else when you don’t love yourself’ thing.
It has taken me a long time to be okay with who I am and everyone might not be at the place I am. I embrace my independence. Right now, I am focusing on my job, my dogs and learning to love myself. When the right person comes along I’ll know it. I’m waiting for someone to add something to my life, not someone who is there as a convenience.
So, if you needed a sign that Valentine’s Day isn’t a holiday to dread, this is it! As Donna and Tom would say;
TREAT YO’ SELF!
My plans as a single lady on Valentine’s Day?
Cook a nice dinner and share a bottle of wine with myself. Hang out with my dogs and maybe watch a good movie (if I can pick one out!)
Single or not, what are your plans? I’d love to hear them!
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