Think about your pre-bed routine. Like what do you actually do each evening before you drift to sleep? A few weeks ago I asked myself that question while I was getting ready for bed one night. I continued to brush my teeth, grab my large glass of water, lay in bed next to my husband and make a last minute scroll through my phone, say my prayer and drift into sleep. Did anything seem unusual to you? No? Yea me either, until I started thinking about it. I spend the majority of the last 30 minutes of my day on my phone. Not having meaningful conversation with my husband, not reading or journaling, just mindlessly going through the nothingness that is social media and Buzzfeed. I am always determined to become a better version of myself and maybe eliminating my cellphone from my evening routine could help that.
If you are like most people you spend a majority of your day connected to the “social world” whether it at work, scrolling through your feed at your chemotherapy appointments, or in any free time you may or may not have. Working at The Breast Cancer Charities of America, I have learned that wellness is essential to not only healthy living but breast cancer prevention as well. Components of that include good healthy sleep and reduced stress. Screen time (on your phone, ipad, kindle, etc.) before bed messes up your sleeping rhythm, not giving you the best sleep possible.
In all honestly wellness was a secondary thought. My first though was my family time. Time that I could be using to be a better spouse or become a better version of myself, I was spending looking at puppies, watching cooking videos, and reading peoples’ (honestly pointless) rants and thoughts. That’s when I turned to Xavian and told him we WILL NOT be using our phones in bed for the next week. Of course, he convinced me to start on a Monday, but we still did it. One week, no phones in bed,at all no matter what time of the day. He thought it was dumb and I thought the exact same, but we tried it out anyways and learned so much.
At first it was extremely weird to not be on our phones in bed, especially when I was enjoying my morning coffee. We just kinda stared for a minute, made small talk and went to bed. Makes sense though, Mondays are always a struggle and bedtime on a Monday is literally my favorite thing about Mondays. As the week went on though I learned so much more.
I learned that each minute with my husband is irreplaceable. That his dreams, ambitions, and goals are strong and worthy just like he is. I’ve learned how I can be a better wife to him during his most stressful moments in the week, how he thinks I’m beautiful even when I have dried drool on my face when I wake up in the mornings, and that I am one blessed woman to be with this man.
I learned that our relationship is strong. That we have a lot of strengths within our relationship that we don’t notice in other couples. We have dreams and goals for our life together, for traveling, and a bucket list. I learned we would both choose wings over chicken fingers any day.
I learned that I have goals and dreams that I never really gave any thought too. Taking those last few minutes of my day to focus on my thoughts, focus on what I am thankful for, and mentally prepare myself for the next day made a difference in my sleep and in my life (I was way more composed throughout the week).
It’s not like my husband and I don’t have meaningful conversation throughout our days. And it’s not like I was totally oblivious to each of our dreams and goals. But using those few minutes at the end of the day to connect and regroup made an unbelievable difference. So take the challenge, try to use the last few minutes of your day to motivate yourself, learn something new about yourself and/or your S.O, and get a good nights sleep to be a better YOU.